I got my tongue pierced on Monday. I haven't really eaten much since then. A couple bites of applesauce, a few glasses of light soy milk. I did have two pieces of a cheese sheet pizza on Wednesday at a friends Christmas cookie swap party. It was fun. Got to see all my old friends again my ex girlfriend...
Speaking of which... after the party, I went back to her house to watch Toy Story 3. Never happened. Not much really happened. But I had fun. We played dirty truth or dare and also the foreplay game. They were apps downloaded onto my phone. But yea, the game was quite against me. After about ten minutes, I was down to my underwear. I certainly wasn't complaining too much though. However, I can't kiss with my tongue ring right now so it was quite hard... I wanted to so fucking bad, but she still seems to want her ex back. They are still friends, but iunno. I just can't deal with anymore pain. Heartbeat. Disappointment. Confusion. I'm not really sure. I just, I guess I feel baf, liking someone even though I don't even know for sure WHO I like. I'm just confused. No one wouldnwant this. A fucked up ball of whatever it is that I am.
But she also brought up the fact that I have never had another girlfriend besides her. I guess I was just scared. People were.so mean. I got it into my head that everyone was like that. I realize now that they aren't. It's not as simple as that, but that's all I've got. For now, anyways.
Since I've been home, I haven't cut. Trays something at least. Oh! So, my meeting with ms. Sugar. My therapist from high school. Turns out, my sister was there too. So it wasnt really much of anything. I guess when I hey back, maybe ill go see someone, maybe I won't. We'll just have to wait and see.
More tomorrow. Person to see. :)
XXX
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