NEW

Yay. I bought a new scale form the store today. Hopefully it will be coming in the mail by wednesday or thursday. This scale measures body fat %, weight, water %. It even tells you how many calories you should consume to stay at that weight. Or you could look at it as how less calories to consume to lose mad weight. Also, I got some niice paper and markers and such from a neighbour who was moving and am going to make a niice sheet that has the ABC on it and place it on my wall so I can see it every day. I have also been collecting a lot of thinspo for my dorm when I go away in a month (finally).

Also, there's a new boy in my life (finally, ditto). He's pretty sweet. He has been coming in to my work for months and I have been wanting to ask for his number but have always felt that he would say no. I mean, I feel like, who would actually give ME thier number..? And the other day he asked for mine and we ahve been hangin out a lot. Just talking mostly. I'm not really sure what I want though. I mean, I do, but on the other hand, I'm leaving soon and I am so sick of getting hurt... I just don't want to feel any worse about leaving than I already do

But, I have been having some pretty late nights. as soon as my scale gets here, I will be starting the ABC. As for now, I am pretty much having coffee for breakfast. Perhaps some fat free yogurt and a bit of fruit for lunch ish (around three) and then some more coffee, maybe, around six. Usually, I am full for the rest of the day though form the yogurt. TOday, though, I fell and had a small bit of pizza. God, I can't WAIT to leave work and all the nasty food there. It will be so much better.


XXX

FOrever

What ever happened to forever? You were always there by my side.

I looked and you were gone.
Come back Come back Come back to me
Forever is such a long time to wait...

I was tired and felt like writing. I havent written in years, and here I go again...

All Gone

So, all my progress has been shoved down the toilet. My mom left, and my dad like, stopped eaating. He lost fifteen pounds in four days. He isn't a small guy and I think he feels that if he looses the weight, he will be 'good enough' for my mom again. So, in order to get him to eat, I was making dinner whenever he was home. I have gained back some of my weight, I WILL NOT be saying how much I have gained back, but lets just say, it was too fucking much. I am basically taking care of everyone and everything in and of the house now that my mom is gone. My dad is still hoping she will realize what she did was a mistake - leaving him for another guy - but, to be honest, she has burned all her bridges with me. She has broken my dad's heart time and again, and I am not going to stand by anymore and make her feel like she isn't ruining my brother and sister's lives by this.

MOre later. People are waking up.


XX