The Day of Reversal

As much as it hurts me to write this entry, I feel I owe what followers I have to at least let you know what has been happening...
CW:104.2

The past... month maybe, all I have wanted to do was eat. I wouldn't eat a shit-ton at once. It was more eat a cookie here. Have a cup of cereal there, but have, over the course of every day, for example:
small pack oatmeal, 3 cookies, a handful of chips, finish off the box of cereal, some more cookies. Purge. But this would be over the entire day...

I was down to 96, now am back up to 104. This entry marks the day of reversal. I will actually start paying for my food. :/ Please don't hate me. Also, I will only have enough food in the house for a few days. Also, paying for the food makes me try to not bunge a bit harder.

One upside to the past month, however, I am now the amazingly proud owner of a mint condition 03 Mustang. It is my baby. I refuse to eat in it, so that makes me extremely happy - no more driving around binging in my car.

Food has completely taken over. I can barely focus in my studies, because all I want to think about is what I will eat today and how I am going to keep myself busy and distracted enough to stay away from food and the bathroom.

Two weeks ago, I went to see Red Riding Hood with friends. We went to Unos, I said I had to stop at the store and would meet them for the movie, went to my work, purged, went to the movies. After the movie, another friend asked my ex how much she weighed. 107. I died a little inside. There is now was I can have the same BMI as her. She is 5'6'' so no. I need to loose this weight. Laxatives only every OTHER day... well, I'm trying. I got my period back. I really didn't want to tell you that, but I feel it will motivate me. I go home in about 18 days for Easter break. My Temporary GW for then is 99. That's it. Just 99.