It has been so long since I have posted, and for that, I am very sorry. Ever since I got back from winter break in January, it seems like I will go a day or two really well, but then, for three days, I will just binge and purge... ALL. DAY. LONG. I just got back from spring break, and, for some reason, I don't even want to eat. Before I left to go home, going into the kitchen meant eating three of four cookies, a few pieces of toast, some oatmeal, some pbj, going to the store to get more food, then purging in between. I got back form classes today, went into the kitchen, and was just repulsed. I had a 50 cal. applesauce, but could barely finish that. I also weighed myself AFTER i ATE...
102.9
I am going to not eat for the rest of the day, nor tomorrow. And only salad and fruit. No more fat. Period.
ALso, because of the constant lax usage... still no period.
Back to the reason I originally got on here today:
When I went home, I couldn't sleep in my room, because no one would get me firewood, which means no heat, which means my room was about fourty or fifty degree max, so I was sleeping in the livingroom on the loveseat, and getting dressed and such in my sisters room. Apparently, I left some bloody washcloth in her room... My mom called me and I told her I had cut myself shaving really bad... But now it keeps running through my mind what I am going to do this summer. It is going to be so fucking obvious... No point in stressing about it now, but I know I will.
Still feeling pretty numb since I got back. At first, I was sad, but now I'm quite apathetic... Glad that hollow in my stomach is back though.
I'll try to post more, sorry again for my long absence. Love ya
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