Plan 15698531

Today was actually quite a good day. Yesterday morning, when I stepped on the scale and saw a significant gain, I flipped. I went to the store and bought new running shoes - this way, I feel obligated to run no matter what because I spent money on them.

Today, I had a presentation and felt like this one kid, who was smirking and whispering throughout my presentaion, was laughing at me so I started hyperventilating and shaking, so I just said that was it, and sat down. My professor wasn't very understanding and gave me a 75 overall on my paper and presentaion...

Because of that, I was more upset. When I went back to my house to get my gym clothes, I had three cookies, purged, and promised to run extra when I got to the gym.

Gym:
Treadmill, 30 miutes - 235 cals
Workout DVD - 120

My net calories for the day was 350. Not too bad, considering, I suppose.

One week from tomorrow, I go home. I need to loose at least 3 lbs by then. That's all I ask for, please please PLEASE!

|~~~|


I can't stand this body anymore, this fat. The swollen glands from purging. The aches in my teeth. I am getting better at control. My weight gain was the result of one very painful day.

Many things had gone very badly, I ate Subway. When I got home, I tried to purge. After about ten minutes, my throat felt like it was on fire and ripping to shred. After I gave up and was weak, my stomach continued to try to rid itself of its contents. I was continuously burping, and at one point I did purge a bit of it involuntarily, but the rest just couldn't come up. I was so very scared. Lieing in bed that night, my heart felt like it was running a marathon. I was up until 5am because I was scared to sleep. I was not tired. I was just scared. Terrified of the number to come the next day. 105.8 (yesterday morning). I almost died of shame. As of tonight, I was 104.8. It CAN be done.
I am going to have a salad with dressing and cucumber (41), yogurt(100), coffee with cafe(70). I will also be going to the gym daily after my class to use the treadmill (-200 to -250). Things will be better.

To distract myself today, I made a fancy-looking chart to track my daily food and exercise as well as weekly weight loss. I figure it will be more motivation with it displayed on my wall for me to see every day.