On a better note, yesterday as you know, I was down to 101.6. Today, all I had was a small cinnamon roll with no frosting, reduced fat of course. And I had a. Small scoop of squash. I had it before I went out to my grandparents house, that way, when I got out there the rest of my family was already there and I just told them that I was full. I left after a while so they wouldn't notice that I hadn't eaten anything. They thought I was going to a friends house and when they got home I told them I stuffed myself full at her house. And its already eight o'clock so I won't be eating anything else tonight. It probably wasn't the best idea in the world, but for some reason I took two laxatives when I got home around six maybe. They were the last two left in my package that I bought just after thanksgiving and they were just taunting me. I bought more, so I guess why not use up the last two and then I can start fresh.
Also, tomorrow being Sunday, it is a fast day. And good thing is that I work twelve to eight. The first four hours are with this hi who I am pretty sure restricts too. She has lost at least fifteen pounds since xhalloween. She eats like a bird kinda, so its always been easy to not eat around her. Maybe by Monday I will have broken the triple digit barrier!
Something my sister said really.got to me when I got home last week. We were in her room, because she has a good sized mirror that i can do my hair and makeup in. And I for some reason I mentioned to her that I had lost most if the weight I gained in college. She asked me all obnoxious-like if I was less than a hundred pounds. But the was she asked it, there was a hint of jealousy in her voice. I wouldn't tell her how much I weighed and she said, "if you weigh less than a hundred pounds I'm going to hit you. If you weigh less than me I'm going to hit you harder, because I've been trying to get to at least a hundred pounds and I stuff my face and I can't get there." I wanted to cry. But I didn't, because that would have sparked more questions and I've been so good at hiding this for so long, no point in ruining it now.
Also, since I got my tongue pierced, my throat has been in so much pain. At night it gets worse, as throat soars usually work out. But even though it has gotten somewhat better, it still hurts so much. I was talking to my friend J, although he wasn't quite in the conversation - seemed kind of distracted and whatnot - but said it might have something to do with all the purging I was doing and trying to force myself to do. But that as a couple weeks ago. Why would it o.ly start when I got my tongue pierced?
My blogs have been a lot longer lately. It's because being home, I still haven't really Hung out with my old friends. I say old because it seems we have already grown.apart. but whatever. I don't have much else to do and not many others to talk to. So, like the pathetic person I am, I talk to the internet in my head in a way... if that made any sense at all.
"The truth is beautiful, without doubt, but so are lies."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson.
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...there's some kind of Blogger application for the droid? I really need to figure that out. I'm jealous.
ReplyDeleteYou're not so weird. I talk to the internet all day and night. [:
(I'm also jealous that you're under 100 pounds.)