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Today's intake:
4 subway cookies... (two right before I weighed myself)
1 small sweet potato, baked plain with skin.

I weighed myself when I got home from work, right after I ate two of the cookies. I was at 100.6. Epic fail. My little brother, awesome dude, got up when I got home. O guess they all, my family, went to friendly's for dinner. He told me what he ate and it was more calories or even food than I have eaten in the last week. He has the following:
Two chocolate milks
A plate of chicken slides, no cheese
A whole side of waffle fries (that's a lot of fries alone!)
A bowl of mandarin oranges
A few bites of his ice cream and then he brought the rest home.

He was telling me all this and I just wanted to like. He said his stomach hurt from eating so much and the thought actually occurred to me to tell him to go throw it up then, why don't you. Am I really that fucked that I would tell my eleven, almost twelve, year old brother to go throw up...? I didn't, but the fact that it even occurred to me just pisses me the fucked off.

Seeing the number 100.6 on the ace tonight made me rely sad. I know it's from those cookies. There was no excuse for my eating them... I don't know, I've been doing so well. But things will be better. They just have to be. By the time I go back to school on the 18th, I have to be down to at least 94. That is more than do-able. Especially with my tongue being stupid like it has been. It is looking better though if it a little.

Have another date/non date tomorrow morning. Morning cuz I work at night. But then she decides to tell me that after she goes out with me, she's going out with her ex bf. I know her and I will probably never get back together, I totally blew it years ago, but oh well. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone going from crush to crush forever. That is until I actually give up and just say fuck it. Which is surely not far off.

Update after the whatever you want to call it tomorrow. Night all

XXX

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