The Hollow in my Heart

Has reached my mind.

Yesterday, I did give in. I had five oreos with half a cup of fat-free milk. Today, I have not had anything other than about two pots of coffee. HA! I woke up, studied for my exam. TOOK my exam. Came to Panera's to study some more and get on the internet. Hoorah for free wifi. :) I kinda of feel like leaving now, but I don't really want to go home yet, because it's only 530pm. I sadly don't really have anyhomework. Yea, sadly. But, I don't really know what to do.

As I said before, I have gained the freshmen ick! But I am fast on my way to loosing it. In the past week I have lost three pounds. I would have lost more, but of course, my Sunday cowfest put me quite back. But, that was and is the last time I will do that. It has to be. I have somehow started writing, well, attempting, to write peotry again. I used to do it all the time back in middle school. But, I was in abnormal psych and it jsut started to pop into my head. They prof would say something and then I would start to add to it. I don't have them with me, but next time I am able to get on, I will post some of them. There is one that I am seriously working on. It's far from finished, but I am really liking it so far. The line from above is from it.

Wow, I've been at Panera's for four hours now. And I haven't really been tempted to get something. I told myself that at 5 I could eat something. But, I think I might get something from teh store instead. Less calories and all. I really do wanst a breadbowl with the fat free soup. That would be pretty niice. And I havent really eaten anything in two days. I think ehat I will do is have the bread-bowl and then again tomorrow I will fast. But actually do it. No cookies. Oh, yea after I ate those oreos yesterday, I threw the rest of the package in the trash. I've been doing that a lot lately. If there is something that I have and am really being tempted my it, I will just throw it out. It seems to be working, yes.

I've also been writing a lot in an actual journal. It is easy to carry around and I tend to think differently when I am writing to myself. Even though not many people read this, I feel like I am talking to someone rather than just writing.

I DO want a soup. But I really don't like eating in front of people. Especially a crouded cafe. I don't think I'd be able to do it. And besides it cost quite a bit more money. Yea, I think I'll jsut stop at the store on my way home. Now that I think about it, Seeing as my car is breaking, I should prolly get going so I don't get stranded in the middle of the night. AND I only have highbeams on my car now. So that's quite bad too. ha.

Well, I think my time is about up here. Love ya, talk laters.

LOVE all you followers. YOU ARE AWESOME!!!

XXX