Run out of my shoes.

I am really scared to go home. I don't remember if I posted this before, but if so, well, I guess I'm posting it again. I will be home for six days and five nights. Not really looking forward to it as much as you would think. I mean, I am kind of happy. But, I am pretty sure I won;t be as happy to seee all my old friends as much as I hoped or thought I would. Really, I hope I get to work a lot and that way I won't feel as obligated to do so. And I'll be able to go to my gym again. Get my run on (wow that was lame). Damn, there is this girl sitting in Panera. Oooooh :D Please and thank YOU. :D:D:D:D

Oh well. Alone is certainly better, in some ways. But whatever ya. I sometimes wish everything could just stop. Like, I could stop worrying. Stop being so fucking sad. Stop just... Stop. Not stop existing I guess, but to jjust stop for a while. Too bad that isn't going to happen, but I can dream I spose.

I am just so fucking sick of hurting when I watch just about any movie. If someone were to ask me one thing I could have RIGHT NOW, it would be for someone to come along and really mean it and come up and give me a hug from behind and whisper something to me. And. Really. Mean. It. That is such a wonderful feeling. To have someone care.

I mean, why do we all even yearn for that. For someone ELSE to care about us. Is it really not enough to care about ourselves. Although, I guess many of us don;t. Care. What does that even mean????