Today was horrible. I was at work, and when I was wrapping cookies, I found myself reaching out and grabbing a chocolate chip cookie from the tray. After I ate it, I felt horrible. The entire time I was eating and chewing it - ugh! the thought of this is making me sick - I was thinking 'I shouldn't be eating this. My thighs are fucking huge.' Even though I am a tmy lowest since my mad crazy weekend and unthinkable hangover, it still isn't enough.

When I had that hangover, I did'nt eat anything for a little over a day and a half. I had managed to get down to 101.9 then. This morning when I weighed myself, I was down to 101.2!!


Today's Intake:
Coffee with light cream and little sugar
Morning Star Boca Patty w. small ketchup and one piece of wheat bread. 250 cal
Kid's size Subway Sub. 300 cal
Chocolate Chip Cookie. Too Many Cal
This is more calories than I have eaten in almost two weeks. I feel discusting and, even though I am too ckicken shit to actually do it, I was sososo tempted to try to throw up at work today after I ate that sub.. Tomorrow I will make up for it

Tomorrow:
Breakfast
Coffee with light cream and sugar.
Lunch
Lipton Cup of Soup 90 cal
Snack/Dinner
Pear 80 cal
Ten grapes 15 cal


Last night I logged onto the internet, and my ex and i ended up actually talking. He was really clingy and I felt bad because we used to be really good friends. I can tell that he wants to try and make it work again, but I know that is definitely a VERY bad idea. I'm not sure hif I regret talking to him or not. Was it a mistake to make him seem like I am still ven remotely interested in him? I think probably, yes.